Microsoft Stores coming to a mall near you, might have a big SMILEY face on the front.

It is official. Microsoft, who couldn't help but continue to rip off the already successful Apple branding (that we've already talked about here), has decided to open retail stores. After reading a lot of information on my blogs about it, I found the Microsoft Press Release about the guy who is in charge of the whole deal.

While people have been citing that he comes from DreamWorks (relatively cool, hip company), it turns out that he has only been there since 2007, a stint that follows 25 years at WalMart.

Here is the sentence from the press release:

"Before joining DreamWorks Animation in 2007, Porter spent 25 years at Wal-Mart Stores Inc. in roles of increasing responsibility and seniority in store operations, merchandising and information technology. In his last role at Wal-Mart, Porter was vice president and general merchandise manager of Entertainment, where he served as a strategic point of influence throughout the Wal-Mart business."

Now, what is interesting about this, is that thinking back through WalMart history, if he left in 2007, he missed both the iPhone-in-Walmart launch (some good Apple design mixed in there) and more importantly, the large electronics section redesign that occurred in 2008.

So what part of WalMart merchandising did this chap contribute to? I remember lots of big yellow smiley faces, and rolling back prices.

What is he going to be bringing to the Microsoft stores again? Ignoring all the other differences between Apple and potential microsoft stores (ya know, that whole software vs. hardware thing -- whose computers are going go live in the store), I think we can expect another sorry following to an Apple initiative.

Ultra Douche Personified

No. Way.

via Best Week Ever

I'm not smart enough to drink coffee at Starbucks

So maybe this response is a little delayed, but what is up with those McDonald coffee commercials?I can appreciate differentiating yourself from the Goliath of Starbucks and maybe a little Mac vs. PC poking fun, but this is a war of the cultures. In the left hand corner we have the ELITES, who are up against THE EVERYDAY JOE. In one ad a woman says, "I don't know where Paraguay is!" to another woman. The two of them take joy in the fact that they no longer have to fake their intelligence because they can just drink their coffee like simple people under the glare of the golden arches. (Author side note: I do know where Paraguay is, so obviously I am above you!)

Unlike all of the other blog posts I've read about McDonald's new take on lattes I'm going to bite my liberal tongue and argue that these MikeyD commercials are a stroke of brilliance.

Wal-Mart Nation: Like it or not kids, we live in a Wal-Mart nation. This type of Sarah Palin "I'm just a simple American" attitude is very popular. Take it from Gretchen Wilson's hit single Red Neck Woman, which reached #22 in the Billboard Top 100. Or the fact that NASCAR has 75 million fans and has just become the 2nd most popular spectator sport.

So to the people of Wal-Mart nation, Starbuck drinkers seem like elitist know-it-alls, and McDonald's just gives them a place to fulfill their caffeine high for the comfortable price of $1.79. Plus, there is no better way to gain loyal followers than making fun of the other side. Think Burger King.

Why Starbucks anyways? It makes us all re-examine why we are paying bank for a beverage that costs 42 cents to make. Someone had to draw attention to this madness eventually. I mean, S-bucks isn't even organic.

Why didn't I think of this? Let's attack Starbucks for selling elitist lattes and then turn around and sell the exact same thing to a different group of people. Pretty much they are just surviving off the coffee culture Starbucks created in the first place. Without Starbuck's lead there would be little want for a McCafe. Genius. The devils sort of genius.

There's a catch. Are customers going to exchange their comfy chairs at Starbucks to the bolted down tables of McDonalds? If someone is unhappy with Starbucks don't you think they would try Dunn Brothers or Caribou first? But maybe that's not the point. Maybe the point is that jazz playing coffee shops are not your only options for caramel lattes.

All I have to say is God Bless America